When Will It Be Normal Again?

If you've been reading all the COVID-19 coverage online or watching cable news, you must've seen a title of an article or segment that opines about when will we be normal again? As if "normal" is the same for everyone, but I get the point. Let me start with the answer, then the analysis.

When will we be normal again? Never.

Seriously, never. Or at least never in our lifetime, though a lot of people will eventually return to some variation of their previous "normal." But, unless your head is completely full of air or rocks, you must know that if a pandemic like this could happen and it's not that fatal, imagine one where it is not only virulent but kills a large number of those who become infected.

So, we have to accept the fact that there will be a new normal but even how that will look is hard to predict.

Think about dining out in a restaurant. How many do you go to that are packed cheek to jowl with tables and customers and waitstaff? Probably too many to count, right? If you were the owner, how would you reconfigure it?

Here's what I would do:

• Reservations-only seating
• Staff must be checked daily for temperature and perhaps O2 levels
• Customers must be checked for temperature and O2 levels as well
• While in the restaurant, waitstaff must wear masks and surgical gloves (same for kitchen staff, too)
• Remove half the tables or more to allow for 6' minimum social distancing
• Tables, chairs, and other surfaces need to be wiped down thoroughly after each customer leaves

And even this isn't perfect. What if an asymptomatic person comes into the restaurant? No fever, O2 saturation levels are fine, but they're shedding viruses left and right--how do you prevent this? Sure, on-the-spot testing would help, but even if it was available, who could afford to do that every day for every person passing through the doors?

This is just one example. Think of your own and then you start to see the sheer magnitude that this challenge presents.

So "normal," as we used to know if, is history. What happens going forward is up to us as a race because just returning to our old ways will only open the doors for the same kind of pandemic or even worse--the one that will take out humanity altogether.

And what's the most asinine thing I see now are the covidiots protesting that their liberties are being assaulted. My only words to them are these: get with the program or get ready to lose you life or that of your loved one.

Yours in quarantine,

Michael

True Confessions of a Flour Buyer

We did our twice-monthly shopping trip into town yesterday. With our bandana face masks on our faces and surgical gloves on our hands, we stopped store after store to get all the items we would need for a couple more weeks.

We couldn't find many paper products, particularly toilet paper. After more than a month of this, I've concluded that some covidiot is hoarding it all. With any luck, they'll be stuck with it until the end of their days, though more than likely they're selling it on the black market for 10x what it cost him/her.

Think about that. Toilet paper unavailable for over a moment. It boggles the mind.

At one store we went to, a downscale store that caters to the Spanish-speaking community, we hit the jackpot. I was in one aisle, my wife was in another. She hurried to find me to tell me that they had a lot of all-purpose flour on their shelves!

Excited, I followed her and sure enough, there were several bags sitting there. I took a look to make sure there were no signs and picked up three bags. Then we went to check out.

As my masked cashier rang me up, she narrowed her eyes disapprovingly.

"Only two bags," she said.
"Two? There was no sign," I replied. I turned to my wife. "Did you see any sign?"
"No, there was no sign."

The cashier just shook her head and rang us up anyway. I apologized profusely, but I don't think she believed I was being sincere.

Do you know that bothered me for the rest of the day? This is a small store. The same people work there all the time. Save for the fact I was wearing a mask, this cashier knows me. I'm so embarrassed, I don't know if I want to go back there again.

Of course, that's silly. We love that place (the prices are great and they have a wonderful selection of produce). But still, I feel bad even though what I did wasn't intentional.

Okay, now that I've confessed my sins to you, gentle reader (👋), I'll move onto the rest of our trip.

The summary we were able to score chicken, steaks, and ground beef, along with fresh produce. No TP, as noted. No Excedrin, but there was a manufacturing issue before the COVID-19 pandemic broke out (we ended up getting the store brand from Walgreens). No Chlorox II, for some reason. No hydrogen peroxide, either.

So, reviewing all this, I'd say we did pretty good. Now in a couple of weeks, when prescriptions need to be refilled, we'll be going back out again.

Yours in retail bliss,

Michael

General Miscellanea

Sometimes I don't have a particular topic I want to discuss, so I'll fill this space with news bits and pieces, or as Stephen Colbert refers to a segment on his show, "Meanwhile."

Meanwhile...

We already finished season 6 of Bosch and it was every bit as good as the first five seasons. The downside of binge-watching, of course, is we have to wait another year, or maybe even longer now that filming is on hiatus, for season 7. I have to satisfy my Connelly cravings with the few remaining ebooks of his I haven't read (though none of them are about Harry Bosch).

Meanwhile...

We're going out shopping today after being home for a little over two weeks now. Running low on fresh produce and some other staples, as well as things we can live without, but we'll get while we're forced to be in the grocery stores. Of course, we'll be wearing masks and surgical gloves in our travels. Wish us luck--I hope we don't run into any covidiots while we're out.

Meanwhile...

The price of oil went negative for the first time ever yesterday. With that, investors are saying May is shot as far as manufacturing is concerned, though futures beyond that look hopeful. It's impossible to imagine that the price of oil -- not gas -- would get so low considering the oil shortages of the 1970s. Still, we don't plan to do any driving anytime soon.

Meanwhile...

We're about to hit our first triple-digit temperature days in the next week. What this will do for our daily exercise remains to be seen. We're not morning people and to shift our internal clocks to earlier than what they are now won't be easy. I don't want to be like stereotypical seniors generally are, up at dawn, in bed at dusk. Just because I'm sixty doesn't mean I have to act my age.

Meanwhile...

I'm getting a lot of reading and writing done during this long period of self-isolation. I have a 50-book target to read this year and I'm a little under halfway there already. My writing goals are a little looser. So far, I've finished five screenplays this year and I have two in progress as of this moment. I'm also in the middle of writing two novels and what I think will be a novella, though I'm not limiting that in case it wants to be longer.

Yours in miscellanea,

Michael